You are probably already running out of ideas for school lunches. I am truly sorry that you are a bad parent. But because I am generous, I am going to help you out. I turned to every mom’s best friend, Pinterest, for a few simple lunch ideas.
I’m assuming you have lunch making supplies. Yes?
Oh, you thought I meant a butter knife and some plastic baggies.? Um, NO. The above is really a minimal example of what you will need to make acceptable lunches. Some people have a dedicated Lunch Making Supplies Drawer. I reccomend a room. And don’t forget the edible paint for detail work.
First, every school lunch must have a theme. If it doesn’t have a theme YOU ARE FAILING. Some examples of themes include:
Please note that themes should coincide with the seasons and holidays. Any parent who attempts send the above “Flower Lunch” in January is a TOTAL AMATEUR.
Time for a pop quiz! What day is it acceptable to send the below lunch to school with your child?
*sigh* No. Not September. I asked for A DAY. This lunch is acceptable for the first day of school and the first day of school ONLY. But this lunch brings me to another point: sharp objects. Note the people-head tooth picks. And the orange bus tooth pick. These are all plastic AND have sharp ends. WIN! Children have to learn about survival of the fittest at some point. Why not start in kindergarten! That’s right, you can send little Bobby off to school with an awesome lunch AND a shiv!
Lunch kabobs also provide excellent weapons:
A good lunch includes mass-produced messages from the heart:
How will your child know you love them if someone else doesn’t say it for you?
I guess you can fall back on symbolism . . .
and a heart-topped shiv!