I’m not sure if all parents do this or if I’m the only TOTAL GENIUS. But over the past few weeks I’ve capitalized on an impending visit from the tooth fairy. When Zoey’s being a pill, I mutter things like, “I sure hope the tooth fairy isn’t watching right now.” Or “Look away, Tooth Fairy, look away! I don’t want you to see Zoey acting like this!” Yes, the tooth fairy is a mythical creature based on lies, but she’s an omniscient mythical creature based on lies.
Zoey lost her first tooth this week.
She put it in an envelope for the tooth fairy.
The tooth fairy brought her a note tied in sparkly ribbon.
The note said:
Note the part of the note that says, “Be nice to your mom.”
Zoey woke up at 2 a.m., demanded the note be read to her, and stayed awake until 5 a.m. Thus, not being nice to her mom.
Exasperated and exhausted, I asked her, “Why won’t you just go back to sleep?!”
Zoey whispered ominously, “The tooth fairy, she’s always watching, Mommy. I’m gonna watch her back.”
GENIUS PARENTING FAIL.
Zoey: 1 Tooth Fairy: 0