I’ve had it with laundry. We are a family of only three (3!!!!) and as I’m typing this we have laundry in various states all over the house:
- Wet (and clean!) but still is the washing machine
- Dry (and wrinkled!) in the dryer
- Dry (and even more wrinkled!) in the laundry basket
- Dry and folded in the laundry basket
- Dry and hanging on the clothes line in the back yard
The laundry is never done. Never. Even when I stare into the depths of the laundry hamper and see the bottom* I know there are dirty clothes lurking all over the house. Demetri leaves his socks on the floor. Zoey has started stock piling dirty clothes under the couch and behind the bathroom door. The other day I found four pairs of Minnie Mouse panties stashed between the couch cushions. As I was pulling them out, Zoey advised me, “Oh, Mommy, you don’t want those–they’re dirty!” And then I gave a wonderful lecture about how we don’t just wear clothes once, we wash them and wear again and again. She looked at me serenely and said, “You don’t seem to do your washing job very much so it’s a good thing I have so many dresses.” Touche, my little friend, touche.
Whenever I’m at home, there’s this little nagging thought that follows me around, constantly tugging at the hem of my mind, “You should be doing laundry. Washing, folding, putting away. Laundrylaundrylaundry.” The thought grates on me through everything I do. By the time Demetri gets home at night I’m ready to throw my self at his feet and wail, “I didn’t do the laundry!!! I admit it!!! I’m a terrible person!!! I’m a horrible wife!!!! Have mercy one me!!!!” At which point Demetri loosens his tie and says, “Why are you this upset about laundry? It’s not your job.” And then he walks through the kitchen and starts a load of laundry.
This is a nice and kind thing. However, all I can think is, “OHMYGOD! Howarewegoingtoremembertoputthelaundryinthedryer and HOW WILL IT EVER GET DONE???” Because, more times than not, neither of us will remember to put the clothes in the dryer and I’ll find them a few days later, damp and moldy, stuck to the sides of the washer.
Clearly, I have issues. I mean, it’s not like I have to use a washing board and scrub everything by hand. I don’t even have to walk down a flight of stairs. The washing machine and dryer are on the main floor of our house. And yet I let the laundry sit in its various piles and mock me. I often narrow myt eyes and curse at it as I walk by. Please note: this actually does not help the laundry get clean, dry, or put away. It doesn’t even make me feel better.
Yes, I have issues. I should work on them. But definitely not while doing the laundry.
*You know, the two times it happened.