Dear Hot Guy at the Pool,
My friend, Carrie, and I are very grateful that you decided to swim laps during our girls’ swim lesson. Getting out of the house to be somewhere at nine a.m. on a Sunday morning is challenging. But
you seeing our lovely children attempt to rescue a yellow rubber duck without putting their faces in the water made it totally worth it. Thanks for looking like this:
Except, you know, with a head. Your face is cute–handsome, even. But sadly the glare from the windows prevented us from focusing on what I can only assume (judging by the rest of your body) are perfectly proportioned facial features. Also, you were less greasy. Carrie and I, being moms, are highly focused on safety and health. We recommend that you consider applying sunblock prior to your indoor swim. Dermatologists recommend a broad spectrum sunscreen of at least SPF 15. We would be happy to help apply it to those hard to reach places.
Speaking of safety, I’m glad you know the importance of stretching before taking part in any kind of physical exercise. However, I think you should have done a few more lunges and chest stretches. Plus, here’s a few stretches you left out all together:
We would also like to compliment you on your choice of swimwear. Thanks to you I now know that this:
is called a “boxer trunk.” You probably don’t know this, but every night at dinner my family shares one thing we learned that day. Thanks to you I can share a new vocabulary word!
Most of all, thanks for letting two moms who’ve hard a hard week giggle and blush a little bit. We needed it! Although I
kind-of-sort-of-but-not-really regret missing my daughter jump in the pool by herself at the end of the swim lesson. Don’t worry, I gave her some jelly beans and she forgave me. Plus, there’s always next week. Nine o’clock next Sunday, yes?
With gratitude and slight but good natured objectification,