>In Which I Kick Martha Stewart’s You-Know-What

>On Saturday I co-hosted a surprise baby shower for Niki. The other co-host was Niki’s twin sister, Erin. But Erin lives waaaaay Up North so the par-tay was at my house. Which meant I was in charge of decorating. Yeah, yeah, I heard that not-so-stifled laughter. But guess what. I. TOTALLY. ROCKED. IT.

Martha thinks she is such a goddess (as evidenced below). But who’s to say what a goddess looks like?
I mean, Nike dry-fit seems more suitable than layers of gold and gauze for goddess-like activities. You know, like Saving the World (one surprise baby shower at a time). A goddess should be able to move and bend, not just hold a fake golden ball to oddly puckered lips. Plus, Time Gunn would not approve of the hair leaves. So late ’70s. And not in a good way.
Yes, yes, Martha can bake. But can she bake with the “assistance” of a toddler?
One of us seems to be a tad bit anal about the kitchen set up . . . while the other one seems to be baking with wild abandon and, dare I say, joy. What would you rather have in your cookies? Anal retentiveness or joy?
Martha puts flowers in pumpkins. And so do I.
Hm . . . the first pumpkin seems to say, Come in, sit down, put your napkin on your lap and DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING, worthless guest! Whereas the the second pumpkin seems to say, Come in, sit down, have some warm apple cider, and if you spill it don’t worry. . . We love you here (unlike some other places we could mention)!

Someone’s decorations seem to be a bit threatening . . . .
I mean, I wonder what happens to Martha’s guests who misbehave . . . My guests were sent home with teeny tiny cutie wootie pumpkins, not moldy skulls. Just sayin’ . . .
Yes, we both carved letters into pumpkins . . .
But my pumpkin had the initials of the baby-to-be instead of just random show-offy letters. Who is DKUSF? Someone’s pumpkins don’t even make sense.
And along those lines . . . .
What the hell is on Martha’s pumpkin?? Martha, Martha, Martha . . . don’t you know that any departure from traditionalism is risky? LEARN THE LESSON!
For the goody bags . . .
Again with the skulls? Geeze, I wonder what’s in the bags . . . Maybe it’s just me, but I would choose a cheerful orange bag with a cute sticker instead of the bag with a death symbol on it . . .
Martha’s guests may never come back while Niki is still my friend after the shower! It’s amazing what we’ll do for the people we care about . . .
And here’s another pic just because it’s cute . . .

11 thoughts on “>In Which I Kick Martha Stewart’s You-Know-What

  1. Anonymous

    >The party was fantastic! I no longer buy any of the "I'm not crafty – I'm not a baker" stuff you say on this blog. I've been to some pretty great parties, but this one topped the list!CJS

  2. Niki

    >THE PARTY ROCKED!!! I was blown away by the gorgeous decorations and the super yummy food. And having a bunch of my favorite people in the whole world there to surprise me was PHENOMENAL. You are a terrific crafter and an even better liar. I had NO idea this was coming. Peter is such a lucky little guy to have such a wonderful bunch of people welcoming him to the world. We love you guys!!!

  3. ErinM

    >At the shower, your craftiness, decorating skills, baking prowess, and love were everywhere I turned!!!! Jos, you kicked BOO-TAY!!! We did not get to spend enough time together– during Thanksgiving we'll have an actual Charbunkle-Zozo-Sosi playdate.


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