Zoey can now say ‘boobies’ and take off her own diaper. Needless to say, I am thrilled! What mother doesn’t dream of her child running starkers through the house, leaving a pee trail, while chanting ‘boobies!boobies!boobies!’? Ok. So that hasn’t happened yet. But, I assure you, it will. Oh, it will. Every moment that passes in ‘boobie!’ and pee-free peace brings us a moment closer to the actual event.
And while we’re on the subject of words Zoey can say, let’s talk about a word she can’t. That word would be ‘mama’. Um . . . I spend all day every day with you. I feed you. I clothe you. I wipe your poopy butt. I make above average jokes. DO I NOT COUNT? Demetri will try and tell you that Zoey does say ‘mama’. And it’s true, those syllables may escape her mouth. But not in reference to me. She will point at the dog and say ‘mamamama’. She’ll gesture at the carton of Goldfish crackers and say ‘mamaaaaaaaaaaaaaa’. But me? Nope. I am No Name. I am That Woman Who Sure is Around A Lot. I am The One Who Prevents All Things Fun From Occurring. Well, excuuuuuuse meeeeeeee while I point out that I am also The One Who Keeps Certain People Safe, Warm, Dry, Brushed, Fed, and Amused.
So, I ask: How is it that my child can say ‘boobies’ but not Mama? It’s not like I run around the house yelling Boobies! all the time. I don’t think I’ve even done it once. Whereas Mama . . . I say at least 40 times a day. I talk about myself: Mama is eating a sandwich. I make Demetri talk about me: Mama is about to lose her patience. I point to myself and say ‘mama’. Plus, ‘boobies’ seems to be a harder word to say than ‘mama’. I mean for ‘mama’ you really only have to be able to say ‘ma’ twice. ‘Boobies’? ‘Boob’ is kind of hard because it’s got the double ‘b’ thing going on. Zoey is not good at ‘b’ or ‘g’ sounds. And then there’s the whole ‘eeees’ sound. A little challenging if you ask me.
What I wouldn’t give to have Zoey run around naked, leave a pee trail on the carpet, and scream booooooooobeeeeeeess MAMA! like she’s showing off just for me. Apparently a mama’s pride has no limits.