RE: Update on Rules
It’s been a while since my last memo but I figured it was time since you seem to be a little slow on picking up on the new rules.
1. Any time that I am not playing with water in the kitchen sink is wasted. WASTED.
2. Whining is a valid form of communication.
3. I can do it myself.
4. Except sometimes I don’t want to do it myself. See #2.
5. I am now tall enough to reach the kitchen table and the counters. Anything within my reach is fair game.
6. I have zero frustration tolerance. When something does not go my way I will let you know. See #2.
7. There are moments in which I like _____ (insert any food) and moments when I don’t. If you really loved me you would know which food to feed me.
8. I like to wear fancy shoes. See #6
9. Getting dressed is a game. My job is to run from you and make it as difficult as possible.
10. See #9 and insert diaper changing.
11. I am a climber of ALL THINGS. Do not try and stop me. I am also a biter.
12. I will continue my facade of being cute and adorably shy in public to undermine your ‘blog’.
13. Please do NOT ask me if I went “poo-poo” in front of my friends. It’s embarrassing.
14. My method of using a fork is genius: stab something, pull off the stabbed thing with hand, use hand to shove thing into mouth. GENIUS!
15. I am not a baby. Please stop referring to me a such. I prefer to be called Most Important Thing In the Universe or Super Zoey.