>You know how you often hear about those parents who put a ton of pressure on their kid to be a particular something, like a doctor or lawyer? Well, that is so not my problem. There’s really only one thing I want Zoey to do (play soccer) and there’s a whole list of things I want her NOT to do. Of course there’s all the regular things that no one wants for their kid: I don’t want her to be a drug addict, a serial killer, or a country music fan. But I have another list of things I don’t want her to be. And if this list existed somewhere other than in my head, the first two things on the list would be in all caps and then underlined and highlighted:
Number one is obvious. But the cheerleader thing is more complicated. I tell anyone who will listen that I don’t want my daughter to be a cheerleader. I want her to kick ass on the field while others cheer her on. I want her to wear jeans, not skirts that require waxing. I want her to listen to Ani and the Indigo Girls, not Britney. I want her to eat when she’s hungry and wear her hair in a pony tail without a ribbon. I want her to learn to do a bicycle kick instead of spirit fingers.
But here’s my confession: I secretly love spirit finger. Whenever Bring it On is on TV I watch it. Actually, I prefer Bring It On: All Or Nothing, but really either one will do. I used to be somewhat respectable: I would sneak downstairs late at night, close the curtains, and watch it. The volume was low so as not to wake Demetri but at least my shame was appropriately high. Now I don’t even hide it. Now I make Demetri recite lines from the movie with me:
Me: Say the thing
Me: If you loved me you’d say it
De: (with audible and visible eye roll) Do I have to?
Me: (batting my eye lashes) Yes!
De: (sighing) Make sure you bring it.
Me: Oh! It’s. Been. Brought!
The above is followed by gleeful and hysterical laughter. By me. Not Demetri. He’s busy trying to back out of whatever room we’re in so I won’t make him do it again.
Maybe I should revise my list . . .